October 27, 2017

I got really annoyed when my therapist said, “you don’t live in your body.”

“What do you mean?” I quipped, “I rock climb, do yoga, meditate, follow my breath, I’m aware of my body.”


“Exactly,” she replied, “you’re aware of your body but you don’t live in or from your body.”

That was many years ago. Now I know what she meant. I was aware of sensa...

February 21, 2017

The unbidden visitor may come anytime, but late night after tasks are done and the house is quiet seems to be her favorite. Whether due to relaxation or exhaustion, habits of mental chatter and physical bracing that normally keep the unacceptable parts of ourselves at bay relax. We let down our guard.

And so she arrives.

Her costumes are infinite...

January 21, 2017

Most of us move through life with an inner tension held deep in our core. Have you noticed this? Unconsciously we’re on the alert for signs of physical and psychological danger. We like to know who we are, what’s happening next, and what’s expected of us. Our inner tension is a way to keep a grip on ourselves and our lives. We want to feel a sense...

December 14, 2016

You have a triune brain.

Triune means “three in one.” While oversimplified, this model posits that we have a reptilian brain (responsible for survival functions of the body), a mammalian brain (concerned with emotions), and a neocortex (concerned with thinking). These three areas of the brain are designed to function in an integrated, cohesive manne...

October 4, 2016

One of the kindest gifts we can offer ourselves throughout the day is the gift of a sacred a pause. The invitation is to interrupt our habitual ways of thinking and feeling and make contact with awareness, a state that David Rome calls grounded aware presence.

The following exercise only takes a few minutes and can be done any time, any where....

September 3, 2016

Do you ever feel shaky, hypervigilant, panicked? Do you shut down, go numb, feel empty?

If yes, your nervous system is hard at work protecting you!

One of the most important skills I teach clients in psychotherapy is to track their Window of Tolerance (see picture). This principle from Sensorimotor Psychotherapy refers to the level of activation...

August 4, 2016

What's the difference between clients who do well in therapy and those who don't? According to Eugene Gendlin, successful therapy clients listen to their bodies.

Specifically, Gendlin's research found that successful therapy clients reference their bodies in the moment as they talk about their problems. These clients say things like, “I have...

July 3, 2016

We all have an inner knowing -- an innate wisdom and deep intelligence -- that's available to us when we slow down and listen closely to ourselves. This isn’t the knowing we get from our repetitive thoughts or reactive feelings. This is flesh and bone knowing. It's connected to our bodies and speaks our truth. This is listening, per St. Benedict, t...

June 2, 2016

We all hold deeply conditioned feelings in our bodies and psyches -- feelings of unlovability, unworthiness, shame, fear, doubt, blame, anger -- and it can seem no matter how much work we do on ourselves we keep landing in the same spot. For better or for worse, we believe "It's just the way I am." 

How can we change?

I've spent a...

May 2, 2016

Have you ever heard yourself say "I know I should love myself, but deep down I really don't." Or, "I know the past wasn't my fault, but I still feel guilty and wrong." As a therapist, I hear these sentiments a lot. What is this disconnect between our intellectual knowing and actual lived experience?

 

Most of us have a grand narrative, a ve...

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About this blog

Welcome! You'll find a mix of writings here about cultivating an embodied life. Some posts are educational topics I teach in therapy. Others reflect on awareness, compassion and radical intimacy with the present moment as helpful dispositions in navigating life.

My intention, no matter what the subject, is to support your unique unfolding toward greater wholeness, creativity, and aliveness. As Howard Thurman says, '“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

If you like what you read please share it on Facebook and/or subscribe. When you subscribe you'll get new posts by email, and you can hit reply to send me any questions and comments. 

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